Secret Agent... man?

It was a dark and stormy night.  "Of course. *sigh*"   A face-to-face meeting between Agent 3.1416nn and The Boss's sleeper agent in the U.S. Senate was not just a dreadful risk; it was damned difficult to engineer.  Agent 3.1416nn could only hope that she had gotten the flag telling her where and when the meet was to be, because making it through the access vent in the roof and then swimming through water in the tortured route that was the only access to the meeting place was just the beginning of peril.  The meeting place itself was fraught with peril...   At last! Air again!  But what was that? Poison gas?  And it was so very dark.  Was the lid down?  No! It was a big fat hairy butt!  And that was the stench!  A plop! Another plop! Gag!  Blinded by excrement and entangled in paper, Agent 3.1416nn was temporarily unable to move.   At last, some light and fresher air!   Then a shout! "No, Bill, don't flush!" Hillary screamed, as Orlando B. Squirrel (AKA Agent 3.1416nn) experienced a perilous case of the swirlies... No! Can't! Climb! Out!    "I'll make you pay for this, Kofi!" Orlando swore as he disappeared into the bowells of the sewer system.   Back to you, Dan.