Meme Tag, Anyone

I never play these games when they come around as email tags. Got put off by all the lousy forwarding... But since it was Kris who tagged me...   Jody of Steal the Bandwagon tagged Kris of Anywhere But Here to participate in this little meme. Kris, in turn, tagged me.   "Immediately following there is a list of different occupations. Select at least 5 of them (feel free to select more). You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select 5 of the items as it was passed to you). Each one begins with "If I could be..." Of the 5 you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession. For example, if the selected occupation was "pirate" you might take the phrase "If I could be a pirate..." and add to it "I would sail the 7 Seas, dating lasses from around the worlde." See how easy that is? Here's the list [you can tell my additions, because I used the subjunctive mood *heh*]:"   If I could be a scientist... If I could be a farmer... If I could be a musician... If I could be a doctor... If I could be a painter... If I could be a gardener... If I could be a missionary... If I could be a chef... If I could be an architect... If I could be a linguist... If I could be a psychologist... If I could be a librarian... If I could be an athlete... If I could be a lawyer... If I could be an innkeeper... If I could be a professor... If I could be a writer... If I could be a llama-rider... If I could be a bonnie pirate... If I could be an astronaut... If I were a dog... If I were an inventor... If I were a programmer... If I were a genius...   O-kaaay...   If I were a librarian, I'd tell everyone,  "Look it up on the net.  I'm busy with my blog."   If I were a painter, I'd finally get the livingroom finished and the detail in the upstairs bath and... Oh, not that kinda painter?  Well, if I were a painter I'd fix that snarky smirk on the Mona Lisa's face.    If I were an astronaut, I'd do everything I could to shut down NASA.  It's the biggest thing standing in the way of developing space travel.  The current purpose of NASA?  Support an army of employees.  Waste of money.  Close off the tap to NASA and watch private enterprise (WTG Rutan/SpaceShip1!!) fly. Then maybe I really could become an "astronaut."    If I were a gardener, I would stop using my brown thumb to kill everything I plant.   If I were a lawyer, I'd find a way to sue the pants off every congresscritter and bureaucrat i could find.  Individually, not in their government roles.  Just to harass the living daylights outa them. (Hey! It's better than my preference of introducing them to Dr. Tarr and Mr. Fether... )   If I were a [real] programmer, I'd invent a way to search for music on the web by midi input (just whistle the tune into a mic, convert wav-to-midi and search for the composer/piece/etc.).   If I were an inventor, I'd invent an alarm clock smasher.  Oh, wait.  I already have one of those at the end of my arm.  OK, I'd invent a cat litter that really worked to absorb odors and was really flushable. (Yeh, there are those that say they are both, but when the neighbors complain about 1.) the stench and 2.) the neighborhood sewer lines being clogged, you know the manufactuers are lying... not that EITHER of those things have happened to me.  I know a guy who knows a guy whose aunt's second cousin had those problems.  But she had 324 cats... )   If I were a dog I'd... nope.  better not go there.   If I were a genius, I'd be doing something other than attempting to spread this meme.   I'm gonna tag Richard at Random Ramblings, cos I think he needs something to write about today. *LOL*  And, I dunno, maybe Boudicca, since she's probably got a list of her own, already. *heh*  Yeh, and what would Alan at Woody's News and Views say about this silly game? "It's a silly game, but somebody has to mock it?"  Maybe.  Maybe not.   Update: Bou's views of the "If I could be... " meme tag game (Bou who? Boudicca, that's who. Listen to her Voice.)  If I had thought of being a missionary the way she does, I'd be on the mission field til the day I died...