Petty Peeves

Yeh, yeh. Well, they're too small to be "pet peeves". Just have to be petty peeves. What is it with subliterates-especially professional subliterates in colonies of Mass Media Podpeople-who refuse to pronouce words, easily pronounced words, properly? February, for example. Every time I hear some talking head, you know, someone who is paid real money for talking, pronounce it "Feb YOU ary"-completely dropping the easily-pronounced first "r"-I wanna dock his pay. After slapping him upside the head with a dead fish. Or something harder. Much harder. With sharp, pointy protrusions. And what's with the idiot newsreader I heard the other night pronouncing "united" (as in "United States") "You-NINE-ted"? Where did the extra "n" come from? The alternate reality where all the unwanted "r"s in FebRuary go? Yeh, I know they can't really read. They're going by what they have misheard for years because they can't hear or think, either. Back to regularly scheduled whatever...